News From Washington

#BunkerBoy’s #babygate Is First Step Toward’s Trump’s Next Acquisition

(PenrosePapers.com) The 1.7 miles of black fencing that now makes up the official White House security zone was assumed to have been erected to deal with the peaceful demonstrations that have been raging in Washington over the past two weeks. In a PenrosePapers.com exclusive, we can now confirm that this fencing is actually the new border for the pending Trump Federal Greens Golf Course.

“It’s been in the planning stages for a while now. The protests have just given the administration the justification they needed to move forward,” says Amanda White, PenrosePapers.com Chief Sports Editor. “Trump Federal Greens is a done deal. All that remains is the question: how large will it be?”

Trump Federal Greens is expected to take up the entire 80 acres that make up the area known as The Ellipse. Independent course designers have admitted to PenrosePapers.com that this should be enough to squeeze in a seven-hole course.

It is assumed that President Trump will not accept this.
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Want to resume international flights before #39;August-September,#39; says Civil Aviation MinisterReport this post

Want to resume international flights before #39;August-September,#39; says Civil Aviation Minister Civil Aviation Minister Hardeep Singh Puri has stated the federal gover...

India slipping into recession soon? Here’s what will hit economy hard in the next few quartersReport this post

India slipping into recession quickly? Here’s what will hit economy hard in the next few quartersThe document famous that the govt’s larger-than-expected stimulus bundle is more...

Biden’s Digital Team Knows He’d Be a Disaster on TikTok. And They’re Fine With That.Report this post

Biden’s Digital Team Knows He’d Be a Disaster on TikTok. And They’re Fine With That.Spencer Platt/GettyThe forex of electoral politics is publicity. But what if publicity isn't ...

White House: “Bunker Boy” Was Remodeling, Not Hiding

(PenrosePapers.com) A week after getting burnt on the Internet for spending an excessive amount of time in his official bunker while peaceful demonstrations raged outside the White House, President Trump’s team is floating another possibility for why the chief executive earned the moniker “Bunker Boy,” among other names.

Unlike past excuses, this one is not likely to meet with Trump’s approval.

“He’s redecorating the damn thing,” says one White House source.

As in, picking out new gun turrets and security features?

“No, as in we gave him a bunch of carpet fabric swatches and said, ‘Mr. President, we really need to do something about this ugly bunker, and it needs the Trump Touch!’”
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BFSL Recruitment 2020, Apply Online for BOB Financial Solutions Job Openings @ bobfinancial.comReport this post

BFSL Recruitment 2020, Apply Online for BOB Financial Solutions Job Openings @ bobfinancial.com BFSL Recruitment 2020 | BOB Financial Solutions Limited (BFSL) | Assistant Man...

Karnataka Reserve Police Constable Recruitment 2020Report this post

Karnataka Reserve Police Constable Recruitment 2020 Karnataka State Reserve Police Constable and Bandman Recruitment 2020 Online applications on prescribed format from the eli...

Director Manager Job vacancy recruitment in TNPL 2020Report this post

Director Manager Job vacancy recruitment in TNPL 2020 Tamil Nadu Newsprint and Paper Limited (TNPL) 67, Mount Road, Guindy, Chennai -600032 Published by  SarkariNaukriBlogd...

Blue Who? U.S. Hails 35K COVID-19 Deaths

(PenrosePapers.com) As communities large and small drew together on Wednesday to commemorate the historic 100,000 U.S. deaths that have been attributed to COVID-19, the official White House take was a little different: not so fast.

Amidst media specials, vigils, and the reading of names of the dead, federal officials announced that it was adopting a new method of tabulating the dead which will result in far fewer U.S. casualties.

“It’s Democrat governors who are responsible for these deaths, not President Trump,” U.S. Undersecretary of Pandemic Matters Edwin DuMerit said at a Wednesday press conference. “Why should the federal government – and the Republicans for which it stands – bear the brunt of these deaths?” Continue reading

Administration to Combat Coronavirus With Equine Deportations

(PenrosePapers.com) Mere hours after being placed in charge of the emerging coronavirus pandemic, Vice President Mike Pence has come out swinging with a plan to cripple the virus before it has a chance to sweep across the United States. And like so many aspects of the Vice President’s life, the way to salvation was found through his faith.

“Vice President Pence spent several hours praying and listening to his Old Testament on Tape audio books, and now we have a plan,” says a source close to the V.P. “Praise American Jesus!”

Pence’s plan – tentatively titled “Giddy-Up & Gone” – involves the deportation of every horse – be it a Shetland, Morgan, or draft horse – from the continental United States.
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$2 Billion Bill With Trump Likeness Launching Soon

(PenrosePapers.com) For the first time since the mid-2019 scrapping/postponement of the Harriet Tubman $20 bill, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing has revealed that they are planning to alter the nation’s currency. And for the first time ever, they will be honoring a sitting president.

“Ladies and gentleman, the Donald J. Trump $2 billion bill,” said Bureau Spokeswoman Glenda Edmunds as curtains slowly swept open behind her. What they revealed was an oversized bill with a large grinning President Trump at its center. “Make American Grate Again” was spelled out across the bottom, while across the top was the “Two Billion $$$$$$$$$$” domination indicator.

Grate?

“I know, I’m not a moron like you people,” Spokeswoman Edmunds snapped, her utterance virtually assuring her a presidential promotion. “It will be fixed when we print up a few million of these. That work for you?”

The President’s Pleasure

When asked by reporters about the new bill during an impromptu press junket on the 7th green at his Bedminster, New Jersey golf course, President Trump was his usual humble self.
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