Facebook to Crack Down on Cat/Dog Duplicity

(PenrosePapers.com) Shortly after Twitter banned political advertising on its platform, all eyes turned to its social media rival – Facebook – to see if the Internet giant would follow suit. Surprising many, Facebook swiftly announced a change in its own policies regarding a particularly problematic area that the company has been grappling with for years.

“While we are not in favor of censorship, in a Democracy you occasionally have to bend to keep the whole cash cow from breaking,” the company said in a Thursday press release. “To that end, we’re strengthening content rules by imposing a ban in lying when it comes to pet photos and videos.”

Citing principle, Facebook says it will begin deleting any photos or videos featuring pets that it deems are fraudulently based.

“If Trixie is balancing a ping-pong ball on her noise, we better not see any tell-tale wires or the sheen of glue,” the company says. “That cute cat attacking a child better actually be yours as you state, and not your neighbors. Is that really a grumpy cat, or just a resting bitch-face cat?

“And grandparents across the country are sick to death of being hoodwinked by foul-mouthed parrots that sound suspiciously like their five-year-old grandson or granddaughter. If a bird says it wants a fucking cracker, we should be able to believe it. Enough is enough.”

Facebook says the ban will start November 1. Anyone violating the new policy will face uploading restrictions and even outright banning if their perfidious pet posts continue.


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