coronavirus

Senate to Vote on Participation Trophies for All Americans

(PenrosePapers.com) While an increase in stimulus checks to $2000 seems all but dead in the Senate, progress was made Friday on a bill that would acknowledge American sacrifice and perseverance during the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic.

The 2020 Donald J. Trump Participation Trophy Bill would award every U.S. citizen who survived the year with a luxurious faux-gold leaf trophy suitable for display on bookshelves, coffee tables, or homemade shrines.

“More lasting than money – which would just be spent – these trophies will be a solid testament to all those Americans who refused to give up their freedom despite hounding from the liberals and the press,” said a spokesperson for Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. “Proudly displaying your participation trophy will show that while you may not be quite winning, you certainly are not quite dead yet, either.” Continue reading

Health Professionals Issue COVID-19 Warning: Avoid Republicans!

(PenrosePapers.com) Since the early days of the 2020 COVID-19 pandemic, the National Association of Practicing Virologists has been leading the charge on preventative measures. One of the first organizations to advocate for universal mask wearing, they have also been steady in their recommendations concerning hand washing, personal space issues, and crowd avoidance.

On Thursday, they announced their latest virus-avoidance recommendation.

Avoid Republicans. Continue reading

It is what it is.

Trump To Share Task Force Press Stage With Fauci, Einstein, Jesus Puppets

(PenrosePapers.com) Coming off a week of solo coronavirus press conferences where President Trump largely stayed on message and didn’t delve too far into conspiracy theories, media altercations, or quasi-deranged aberrant trains-of-thought, White House aides were cautiously optimistic that their boss had found a semi-presidential milieu that would stop his polling skid.

Then we hit a week of demon sperm, hydroxychloroquine-love, irritability, and #NobodyLikesMe.

For White House aides, it was time for Plan B.

“He is incapable of staying on message, so we need some way to pull him back on,” says one source close to the coronavirus task force. He insisted on anonymity, but says we could call him “Bob.”

“We thought about musical acts during the daily task force press meetings, special guests, animal tricks, maybe a Trump Top 10 list. In the end, we felt we really needed to go with the puppets.” Continue reading

RBI slashes repo rate: Big relief to small businesses but more support needed; move to revive dem...Report this post

RBI slashes repo fee: Big relief to small businesses but more support wanted; move to revive call for, say industry bodies ...

Sanitise Mobile Phones Not Ban Them: Akhilesh Yadav To COVID-19 HospitalsReport this post

Sanitise Mobile Phones Not Ban Them: Akhilesh Yadav To COVID-19 HospitalsMobile phones provide mental support and help cope with loneliness, Akhilesh Yadav tweeted. (File)Luckno...

Delhi sizzles at 45 degrees Celsius, no respite till Friday: IMDReport this post

Delhi sizzles at 45 degrees Celsius, no respite till Friday: IMDNew Delhi: Delhi and its adjacent areas won't get aid till May 29 (Friday) from the sizzling warmth because the t...

Trump To Launch Signature Mask Line

(PenrosePapers.com) People are used to being shocked by what comes out of President Trump’s Twitter account. Still, it was a bit of a surprise when a picture of the president sporting a mask and calling the wearing of it patriotic lit up the Twitterverse on Monday.

Within less than 24 hours, the reason for such an abrupt change of heart became obvious, as revealed in a series of early morning Trump tweets.

“Now, exclusively, from YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT, the best masks, absolutely the best, that you will ever wear, ever buy. BARR NONE,” President Trump tweeted at 3:13.

“Layers of cloth, approved by my own task force’s own DR. BLIX, with a layer of bleach soaked – like I said – stuff. Kills everything. Everything.” Continue reading

Cyclone Amphan: Bengal Asks Railways Not To Send Trains Till May 26Report this post

Cyclone Amphan: Bengal Asks Railways Not To Send Trains Till May 26West Bengal govt has requested the Railways to forestall Shramik trains until May 26 because of the cycloneKol...

Coronavirus Briefing: What Happened TodayReport this post

Coronavirus Briefing: What Happened TodayThis is the Coronavirus Briefing, an educated information to the worldwide outbreak. Sign up right here to get the briefing by way of e ...

PM Kisan Samman Nidhi Scheme: PM Kisan Yojana 2020 Online Registration, PM Kisan Status Check, PM...Report this post

PM Kisan Samman Nidhi Scheme: PM Kisan Yojana 2020 Online Registration, PM Kisan Status Check, PM Kisan Samman Nidhi List 2020 Kisan Samman Nidhi Scheme 2020:  Under the PM...

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