Dying To Work

Professional Lick Tag League To Debut Friday

Juicy Units left tongue tackle Bo Jones shows his game face

(PenrosePapers.com) Those seriously jonesing for some professional sports action during self-isolation will be in luck on Friday with the debut of a brand-new professional sport: lick tag. The first game of the American Professional Lick Tag League will take place in Tulsa Friday night when the Tulsa Trump-Tonguers take on the Colorado Springs Slobber Monsters.

According to Trump-Tonguers’ owner Terri Duvall, what started out as a joke has quickly become a serious and pivotal element of the new Dying To Work movement.

“A bunch of us fellers were getting together every night to head down to the courthouse and do our God-given protesting,” says Duvall. “In addition to dancing with our guns, owning the libs, and just overall yelling in people’s faces and shit, we would also joke around. You know: ‘I’m going to touch you, no, I’m going to touch you more. Well, I’m going to lick you, ooo, I lick you back.’ And I was like, ‘Hmm, fellers, I got an idea!’”
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