Ivanka

Trump To Share Task Force Press Stage With Fauci, Einstein, Jesus Puppets

(PenrosePapers.com) Coming off a week of solo coronavirus press conferences where President Trump largely stayed on message and didn’t delve too far into conspiracy theories, media altercations, or quasi-deranged aberrant trains-of-thought, White House aides were cautiously optimistic that their boss had found a semi-presidential milieu that would stop his polling skid.

Then we hit a week of demon sperm, hydroxychloroquine-love, irritability, and #NobodyLikesMe.

For White House aides, it was time for Plan B.

“He is incapable of staying on message, so we need some way to pull him back on,” says one source close to the coronavirus task force. He insisted on anonymity, but says we could call him “Bob.”

“We thought about musical acts during the daily task force press meetings, special guests, animal tricks, maybe a Trump Top 10 list. In the end, we felt we really needed to go with the puppets.” Continue reading

FREE UPDATES

Recent Tweets