#BunkerBoy’s #babygate Is First Step Toward’s Trump’s Next Acquisition

( The 1.7 miles of black fencing that now makes up the official White House security zone was assumed to have been erected to deal with the peaceful demonstrations that have been raging in Washington over the past two weeks. In a exclusive, we can now confirm that this fencing is actually the new border for the pending Trump Federal Greens Golf Course.

“It’s been in the planning stages for a while now. The protests have just given the administration the justification they needed to move forward,” says Amanda White, Chief Sports Editor. “Trump Federal Greens is a done deal. All that remains is the question: how large will it be?”

Trump Federal Greens is expected to take up the entire 80 acres that make up the area known as The Ellipse. Independent course designers have admitted to that this should be enough to squeeze in a seven-hole course.

It is assumed that President Trump will not accept this.
Continue reading

White House: “Bunker Boy” Was Remodeling, Not Hiding

( A week after getting burnt on the Internet for spending an excessive amount of time in his official bunker while peaceful demonstrations raged outside the White House, President Trump’s team is floating another possibility for why the chief executive earned the moniker “Bunker Boy,” among other names.

Unlike past excuses, this one is not likely to meet with Trump’s approval.

“He’s redecorating the damn thing,” says one White House source.

As in, picking out new gun turrets and security features?

“No, as in we gave him a bunch of carpet fabric swatches and said, ‘Mr. President, we really need to do something about this ugly bunker, and it needs the Trump Touch!’”
Continue reading


Recent Tweets