The Wall

Trump To Launch Signature Mask Line

(PenrosePapers.com) People are used to being shocked by what comes out of President Trump’s Twitter account. Still, it was a bit of a surprise when a picture of the president sporting a mask and calling the wearing of it patriotic lit up the Twitterverse on Monday.

Within less than 24 hours, the reason for such an abrupt change of heart became obvious, as revealed in a series of early morning Trump tweets.

“Now, exclusively, from YOUR FAVORITE PRESIDENT, the best masks, absolutely the best, that you will ever wear, ever buy. BARR NONE,” President Trump tweeted at 3:13.

“Layers of cloth, approved by my own task force’s own DR. BLIX, with a layer of bleach soaked – like I said – stuff. Kills everything. Everything.” Continue reading

$2 Billion Bill With Trump Likeness Launching Soon

(PenrosePapers.com) For the first time since the mid-2019 scrapping/postponement of the Harriet Tubman $20 bill, the Bureau of Engraving and Printing has revealed that they are planning to alter the nation’s currency. And for the first time ever, they will be honoring a sitting president.

“Ladies and gentleman, the Donald J. Trump $2 billion bill,” said Bureau Spokeswoman Glenda Edmunds as curtains slowly swept open behind her. What they revealed was an oversized bill with a large grinning President Trump at its center. “Make American Grate Again” was spelled out across the bottom, while across the top was the “Two Billion $$$$$$$$$$” domination indicator.

Grate?

“I know, I’m not a moron like you people,” Spokeswoman Edmunds snapped, her utterance virtually assuring her a presidential promotion. “It will be fixed when we print up a few million of these. That work for you?”

The President’s Pleasure

When asked by reporters about the new bill during an impromptu press junket on the 7th green at his Bedminster, New Jersey golf course, President Trump was his usual humble self.
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