Trump Taps Wham, Tool In Latest Pelosi Missive

(PenrosePapers.com) – Fresh on the heels of the much-criticized six-page rant sent to Nancy Pelosi earlier in the week, President Trump abruptly shifted gears on Wednesday with another attempt to reach out. And this time he went old school.

“As mix-tapes go, I won’t say it is sensational, but it is quintessential Trump,” says The Penrose Papers’ Music Editor Sy Weatherly. “It starts out as you would expect, with mobbed-up favorites like ‘It Was A Very Good Year’ and ‘I Did It My Way,’ both by Frank Sinatra. Then it gets a bit weird and mean.”

The weird includes Wham’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go Go” and Culture Club’s “Do You Really Want To Hurt Me,” but the bulk of the mix-tape exhibits what some listeners are describing as “defiance laced with misogyny.”

“’Stupid Girl’ by Garbage, Donovan’s ‘Season Of The Witch,’ ELO’s ‘Evil Woman,’ uh, “I’ve Got Big Balls’ by AC/DC, ‘We Will Rock You,’ ‘The Bitch Is Back,’ ‘Hooker With A Penis’ by Tool… You definitely sense a theme running through much of the tape,” says Weatherly. “It all comes to a crescendo in the last track, which is just President Trump repeating “I want nothing, I want nothing,” over and over while “Flight of the Valkyries” bombards away in the background.

We reached out to Nancy Pelosi’s office, but they had no comment on the mix-tape. “We’re still searching for something to play it on,” says an aide.

Presidential mix-tapes are not exactly without precedent. President Clinton famously used to spend hours painstakingly constructing late night mix-tapes which he would then slide into aide’s pockets with a friendly “Hey baby, you like Huey Lewis?” whenever Hillary’s back was turned.

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