Trump To Deport Bolton… No, The Other One

( Washington has become pretty used to President Trump’s twitter tirades, but one tweet Sunday morning left many political insiders scratching their heads. In it, the president vowed to “DEPORT BOLTON!”

No, not John. The other one.

“I never cared for his singing, I guess it’s crooning, probably crooning, and quite frankly, he was a pain in the ass to work with. You can’t do this, you can’t do that… DEPORT BOLTON! Michael adds nothing but crappy elevator music to our GREAT COUNTRY!” Trump tweeted.

Where to start…

“I think the kernel of the problem probably lies with Fox News,” says Penrose Papers Political Analyst Eugene Bravo. “They’ve been sensing that John Bolton’s eventual testimony may be the final torpedo in the Trumptanic’s opulent hull, and have been pounding the Bolton! Bolton! Bolton! meme all week. I have no idea how the president’s mind pulled Michael into all this.”

Even if Michael Bolton was the true object of his wrath, President Trump would have a hard time deporting the Connecticut-born singer. In a sort of feedback loop of the damned, by Sunday afternoon Fox News had joined calls for Michael Bolton to be deported, with one of the Fox News afternoon hosts citing Bolton’s 1995 Grammy loss (to Elton John) for “Said I Loved You… But I Lied” as “proof that he’s a lying liar, and not what we look for in a soft rock icon in this country, by Jesus.”


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